1. |
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I've got demons in my closet that'd make your skeletons look cute
but still my mom thinks i'm a prophet and my dad is just confused
and I'm here trying to get through this life alive
I never claimed to have solutions for the problems of today
no answer for pollution or polar caps melting away
No I'm just trying to get through this life alive
And so I try, and I try, and strive
To find that split second of happiness
between the glitter and the gold
like the morning's when I wake to find your lips upon my throat
so that when I'm close to 90 and lay down for the last time
I can go knowing I live a life, alive
I never cared much for religion and politics are quite the bore
with the impending amalgamation that will no doubt end in another war
it's unlikely I'll get through this life alive
But still I try, and I try, and strive
To find that split second of happiness
between the glitter and the gold
like the morning's when I wake to find your lips upon my throat
so that when I'm close to 90 and lay down for the last time
I can go knowing I live a life, alive
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2. |
Zombie [2011]
04:30
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Never been much for making right decisions
Impulsive and irrational, I am
Never stop to think twice about the consequences
Of not seeking help to fix myself can bring
But I don't care, because it's comfortable here
But I'm also aware of the loneliness that's partnered with
The pain that has been haunting me
from the pending rediscovery
that my actions are the reason you're not here
So if I see a doctor
And if he gives me pills
If I give up on dreaming
Will you then want me still
If I become a zombie
And bend to your every will
Will you cut me some slack
And say you love me and you want me still
Never considered myself to be a lady killer
I stumble and I mumble through my words
Taking every joke inappropriately further,
being loud and obnoxious is my curse
But I don't care, cause it's so comfortable here
But I'm also aware that I'm virtually unlovable
physically untouchable, emotionally unreachable
like an old dog I'm unteachable and worse of all it's all inside my head
So if I read some books
on how I can be better a man
If I attend a lecture
Will you respect me then
Or kiss my in front of your family
Or see me against their will
Will you cut me some slack and say
You love me and you want me still
Yet I know that's it's improbable for a girl like you to love a man
As insecure and incomplete as me
But if it's all the same, I'd like to say that it'd help me change
To know that you'd still want me even if I never did.
Samuel Fickie © 2013
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3. |
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There's a secret place
In a mid-western state
Where I fold my clothes
And I hang up all my clothes
You could it my house
But it'll never be my home
Yes it's got all my things
My pictures and my strings
All the do-dats that hung before
back when I had that room of war
But I close my eyes and click my heels
And I dream about a home
mmm, home that's where I wanna be
mmm, home alone, just you, just me
Do you remember the time
We went for a Sunday drive
Down that shaded road
It got dark and it got cold
But we rolled our windows down
And our airplane hands flew us home
And then we parked our car
And made love under the stars
In the middle of that field
Back when our love seemed so surreal
There was no fear in your teenage eyes
And for an hour we were home
mmm, home that's where I wanna be
mmm, home alone, just you, just me
Samuel Fickie © 2013
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4. |
Mortar and Stone [2009]
04:23
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I found a secluded spot for my home
I made it from brick and from mortar and stone
It was a house where I could be alone
A place to heal all of my hearts broken bones
I locked the door and I threw away the key
So that nobody could ever find me
I prefer solitude over company
Cause it’s the one who’s always there for me
I got too comfortable in my old ways
Lost sight of everyone and everything
Held back by regret for mistakes I’d made
I dug, fell into, and somehow filled this grave
Now I just lay here, there’s mud in my eyes
Above ground it’s raining, my Father, He cries,
“Son, I’d been waiting for you a while,
Didn’t you know that I died for you and for that smile?”
I gotta get away
I think I’ll leave today
I’ll just get on a train
Or maybe a plane
Tell, what’s that you say?
You think that I should stay?
But I hear a world calling my name
And they need me more today
Killing my softly; my malfunctioned pride
The Sword of the Spirit spills blood from my side
Words from my sister send chills up my spine
I feel so dead, but she says I’m alive
There’s so much more to this than you and me
So shake of your immature insecurities
I know you feel blind but it’s easy to see
Just open your heart and allow it to believe
I gotta get away
I think I’ll leave today
I’ll just get on a train
Maybe I’ll take a plane
Cause I got something to say
Probably not what you’d think
But I hear a world calling out for His name
And they need Him more than me today
Samuel Fickie © 2013
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5. |
We Go Together [2011]
04:54
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I'm not saying that it's wrong
when it feels so darn right
Cause I've waited 2 years too long
to be here with you tonight
I'm not saying you should go write off and break all your rules
I'm just saying that I like you and I think you're pretty cool
I'm not asking you to to stop
persuing any dreams
cause I know that you've got your plans
and that they don't all include me
i'm not asking you to stop getting your answers from that book
i'm just asking you to open up your eyes and take a look
cause we go together like green eggs and ham
like internet explorer. We're pop up and spam
like yellow lines and parking lots
we go together like polka and dots
I don't care if you find out
all the secrets of my past
Because all of those mistakes
Led me here to you at last
I don't care if you expose the skeletons behind my clothes
I just hope you know a way for me to get rid of all these bones
Cause we go together like Johnny & June
Like snow flakes and December or spring break and Cancun
Like Sherlock Holmes and a mystery plot
We go together like polka and dots
We're just like Batman and Robin
Or the Lady and the Tramp
There ain't nothing that can stop us
You just have to let me in
Cause we go together like p.b. and j.
like cocain and the 80s (ah, who am I trying to kid) like cocain and today
Like broken hearts and whiskey shots
we go together like polka and dots
And just Like those Businessmen and get rich quick get scams
We go together
We go together
We go together
Like no one else can
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6. |
Dear God [2011]
03:31
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Dear God, I've been feeling crazy lately and I don't know how
I can shake it off me, I could use a little bit of help right now
Cause I feel like too much water filling up inside a small balloon
I have stretched myself out and pretty soon here I'm gonna go ka-boom
Every second I'm awake you know that girl is on my mind
Even though I promised her and myself I wouldn't over obsess this time
I still hear the demons in my head, they're pushing me to act this way
Resulting in me doing things that I know just push her farther away
Give me love or give me drugs, just something to clear out my mind
Maybe a lobotomy of my heart could help me to walk the line
I can't stomach it, I wake up feeling sicker almost everyday
I just can't accept I'm on the right track or that I was born this way
Take my mind
Take my mind
Clear it out
One more time
Give me strength
And some self control
Help me to get a grip
On this situation as a whole
and help me out
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7. |
You're Not Here [2008]
04:52
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I don't know which one is harder
Falling asleep or waking up
All I know is you're not here
And I don't know which one is smarter
Tossing your pictures or packing them away
All I know is you're not here
You're not here in the morning
You're not here in the night
You're not here when I'm mourning
You're not here when everything's alright
You're not here when I want you
You're not here when I need you
You're not here when I miss you
You're not here and that's all I know
I don't know what's more realistic
Waiting for you or just trying to move on
All I know is you're not here
And I don't know about these statistics
Your track record being compared to mine
All I know is you're not here
You're not here when I'm laughing
You're not here when I cry
You're not here when I'm asking
You're not here when I wanna die
You're not here when I want you
You're not here when I need you
You're not here when I miss you
You're not here and that's all I know
(I know) you love me
Cause you told me on Sunday
But that don't mean that it doesn't hurt
It's in the way you treat me
When I'm feeling so lonely
And all I want from you is three words
I don't know which one is harder
Falling asleep or waking up
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8. |
A True Story [2010]
03:21
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The Preacher says you’re up in heaven
Whether you are, I don’t know
If you are I bet you’re happy
And if you’re not, then where’d you go?
But saying you’re up in this “heaven”
If you happen to see god
Could you for me, just once mention
That since he took you I feel lost
So I’ve been thinking I might join you
For an eternity of bliss
Where we’d both stay young forever
In an everlasting kiss
I got my finger on the trigger
Darling, I will see you soon
I close my eyes and pull it gently
And stain my walls a dark maroon
But when I open them you’re not there
All I can see is black and red
The temperature is steadily rising
And there’s a pounding in my head
I wander aimlessly through darkness
Thinking about what that preacher said
And then I see a sign before me
It says, “Welcome all, ye dead.”
I hope you’re happy up in heaven
While I’m burning up in hell
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9. |
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Well the thing I love about you more than anything
Is when you are mine, you're mine
Just like anytime you sit me down and ask about my day
Everybody else around us seems to fade away
And you are mine, and I know I am yours
And the thing I love about you second best would be
The way you say my name, my name
You've said it like my sisters and even just like my mother
I've come to face the facts you'll never say it as my lover
Still, you're mine and I know I am yours
Now the third runner up I'd have to say
Would definitely be your hair, your hair
The way it lays, and the way it flows, the way the sun rays make it glow
The way it compliments your skin, girl, the way you always do me ine
You're mine and I know I am yours
Have I told you red is my favorite color
That I love it more than any other
Never met nobody like you, no not another
You are my big sister, I'm your little brother
Time may try to take us, this world may try to break us
There's a special bond between us that just can't be shaken
The love I have for you, you know I couldn't fake it
When I think of I you baby I know I'm gonna make
And now the fourth and last but certainly not the least
I must confess would be your strength, your strength
How you never seem to quit no, in fact you only persevere
It makes a guy like me like he can brave another year
knowing you are mine and I'll always be yours
Well the thing I love about you more than anything
Is when you're mine... You are mine.
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10. |
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I awoke in a jolt to the sound
Of the jarring sirens rebounding
Off a nearby home and then directly onto mine
I arose to see a sky not blue
But green and dark and sad, but lovely
The temperature was warm as was the blood around my bones
Oh the city scurried off in worry
The children grabbed their favorite toys
As the parents all said their hail mary's
And ducked for cover in the basement
But I just sat on my front porch and I waited for salvation
Cause if there's gonna be a twister than I've gotta see it
And if there's any chance of lift off
Than by god, I wanna be in it
Cause I wanna go where Dorothy walked down that yellow road
Where nobody knows me or any of the mistakes that I've made
I could find me some courage
To face the day without you by my side
And maybe a new heart and a brain to help me out along the way
And then the rains subsided in an instant
As if it was almost never there
That's when I heard the rumble coming toward me like a train
And seven funnels formed before my eyes
And ripped right through those rail road ties
And as if in a predetermined course, headed straight into my arms
Oh, I closed my eyes and said a prayer
As I was lifted up in the air
And when my feet touched down again
This black and white life I used to live in
Was suddenly now technicolored
And I felt like I'd seen the face of god
Because I made it through the twister
And somewhere over the rainbow
Where the flowers are all little people
And my best friend is a scarecrow
Cause I wanna go where Dorothy walked down that yellow road
Where nobody knows me or any of the mistakes that I've made
I could find me some courage
To face the day without you by my side
And maybe a new heart and a brain to help me out along the way
Well this is all a dream I had one night
A subconscious image in my mind
With a vivid presence not unlike anything that you can touch
But in reality I'm just a man
With a twister of a past at hand
And it feels like I just can't move past all the wreckage of my love
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11. |
St. Louis, Misery
04:34
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Lately your blue/green eyes have been saying much more than your pretty mouth
Lately your body has been gesturing things you're too afraid to shout
Like someone please come save me
From the pit I've fallen in
It's cold and I am lonely
And I'm so tired of throwing punches at the wind
Lately my blue/orange eyes have changed to shades of cold cranberry red
Lately my body has shut down on me like as if I were dead
And I see no chance of revival
In my heart or in my brain
But when I'm with you I feel stable
So tell me girl, would agree with me that you feel the same?
When then, what if we just ran away
Find the place where east meets west and stay
And what if we were happy there
We could build a world with nothing but tomorrow and each other to call our own
Gas the Wagoneer up and let's leave before the sun can see we're gone
I'll take the first shift while you lay beside me steadily dreaming on
And with some cold coffee in a paper cup
I'm feeling footloose and fancy free
And I don't care really where we end up
Just so long as it's far, far away from St. Louis, Misery
Honey let's just run away
Find the place where east meets west and stay
Cause what if we are happy there
We can build a world with nothing but tomorrow and each other to call our own
Maybe it's way too far fetched
Maybe I'm just dreaming
Or maybe it's just the thing to do
Maybe it's not the safest bet
But sweets I'll keep believing
That when you wish upon a star sometimes it comes true
What if we just run away
Who cares what the people say
We'll be off, alone, unchained and free
With a future with no history
We can build a world with nothing but tomorrow and each other to call our own
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12. |
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Babe, I know that there's forces all around you
Trying to break you down right to your bare
Babe, I know that there's demon's in the atmosphere
Trying to trip you up into their snares
But honey, God made me to wrap my arms around you
and hold you til the breaking of the dawn
So when the walls of life come crashing down upon you
and there's no steady ground to plant your feet
when there's no more hands reaching out catch you
I will not abandon you
I will not abandon you
I will not abandon you
Babe, I know that there's psycho's in our city
and they're caught up in some history that's now gone
Babe, I know that the nights are now too scary
that your sleeping with your lights on and fully clothed
So remember that I will be your blanket
And my warmth will protect you from the cold
So when the storms so thick that you can't see the ending
and the tunnels just too deep to see the light
When everyone you know throws reason out the window
I will not abandon you
I will not abandon you
I will not abandon you
Sometimes our love is circumstantial
and sometimes you don't want me at all
but I would be naive and foolish to believe you
when your pride denies my gentle helping hands
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13. |
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I awoke in a jolt to the sound
Of the jarring sirens rebounding
Off a nearby home and then directly onto mine
I arose to see a sky not blue
But green and dark and sad, but lovely
The temperature was warm as was the blood around my bones
Oh, the city scurried off in worry
The children grabbed their favorite toys
As the parents all said their Hail Mary's
And ducked for cover in the basement
But I just sat on my front porch and I waited for salvation
Cause if there's gonna be a twister then I've gotta see it
And if there's any chance of lift then by god, I wanna be in it
Cause I wanna go where Dorothy walked down that yellow road
Where nobody knows me, or any of the mistakes that i've made
I could find me some courage to face the day without you by my side
And maybe a new heart and brain to help me out along the way
And then the rain subsided in an instant
As if it were almost never there
That's when I heard the rumble coming toward me like a train
And seven funnels formed before my eyes
And ripped right through them railroad ties
And as if in a predetermined course headed straight into my arms
Oh, I closed my eyes and said a prayer
As I was lifted up in the air
And when my feet touched down again
This black and white life I used to live in was
Suddenly now technicolor and I felt I'd seen the face of god
Because I made through the twister and somewhere over the rainbow
Where the flowers are all little people
And my best friend is a scarecrow
Cause I wanna go where Dorothy walked down that yellow road
Where nobody knows me, or any of the mistakes that i've made
I could find me some courage to face the day without you by my side
And maybe a new heart and brain to help me out along the way
Well this is all a dream I had one night
A subconscious image in my mind
With a vivid presence not unlike anything that you could touch
But in reality I'm just a man
With a twister of a past at hand
And it feels like I just can't move past all the wreckage of my love
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14. |
Cain and Abel [2009]
05:14
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It's funny how something that once seemed so stable
Could suddenly just fall apart
A classic case of brother Cain betrayin' Abel
My word's the spear that pierced through your hearts
It's much too late to say my sorry's to your mother
Cause you've run away, away with the night
Still everyday I say a prayer for my brother's
Lord lead him back into your light
Where did you go?
My brother's a ghost
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Samuel Fickie St Louis, Missouri
Demons - $5
All I want For Christmas Is You - $FREE
XOXOXOXO
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